Thursday, February 21, 2008

Our Vision

Back in August, when we found out that our little boy would be born with Trisomy 18 we did not understand at that time why the Lord had allowed this to come our way. Laying in bed one of those first nights Yvette and I decided that despite the pain, disappointment and uncertainty we would not allow the devil to steal the joy that became ours the moment we realized we were expecting our third little miracle. What was meant to tear our family apart has only served to strengthen us and bring us even closer together. What was intended to stifle our walk with the Lord has caused us to rely all the more on His everlasting arm to guide us. We rest in the knowledge that not only did He have this covered, He also has a plan. A plan that did not come into clarity until an early afternoon in December as our little boy adjusted to life here on earth. Although at the time we did not know what the next 56 days would hold, we determined that God would be honored and glorified in all that we did.

We began this blog as a place of information for our family and friends. A place where they and you, our internet family, could come to see how we were doing and to see how to specifically pray for us. Our blog allowed you to step into our lives and walk this journey with us without feeling as though you were intruding. This became an amazing opportunity for others, most of whom are complete strangers, to pray for our family and immediately see the results of that prayer as God miraculously provided for us each and every day. As the Lord guided us to other families on this same road, we too became emotionally invested in their lives as we began to pray for God's presence in their present need. This became a place where we could be vulnerable, putting forth our requests and displaying our weaknesses without fear of embarrassment or retribution. Not long after we began blogging we realized that this, in a very real way, was beginning to heal us, long before the time when we would need it most. Comments on this blog seemed to come when we needed encouragement the most. Like a soothing ointment are the prayers and support that we still receive to this day. From the very beginning your love and kind words have been "healing it forward" in a way, preparing our hearts for this time when we still feel such a loss.

Over the last few years, Yvette and I have felt as though we were being drawn into some sort of life ministry together. God's hand being so evident in our lives that we knew He was preparing us for something, so we kept praying that He would reveal Himself to us and that we would trust His perfect plan. Well, in case you missed it, go back and look carefully at all of the pictures in our blog. Our Heavenly Father is present there; the creator seen in the depths of Tristan's dark brown eyes, the joy on our faces that suppressed our tears and the very breath that sustained our little boy for eight wonderful weeks. As for His plan, that takes me to our vision. Just as Tristan was entrusted to us for a little while, so is the power and wonder of the 56 days that has left us forever changed. We cannot begin to comprehend why God, in His omnipotence, chose to allow us 56 incredible days while our sweet "internet" friends were given a fraction of that time. But let me assure you, we were humbled by the privilege we were given.

We've always been taught; that with great opportunity comes great responsibility, and this weights very heavily on Yvette and I. So we have begun the process of creating a foundation that will encourage new Trisomy 18 families to keep their pregnancies and not terminate as we have all been pressured to do. This foundation will support a new website that will be a safe haven for trisomy moms and dads to come and seek the answers that were not easily found when our family started this journey. We want to provide hope that trisomy babies can survive despite the opinions of expert doctors who call them "incompatible with life" and give God no acknowledgment or place. God is still in the life creating and sustaining business (see our previous posts). There are survivors of full Trisomy 18, some living up to 11 years. When Yvette and I started researching Trisomy 18, the first survivor we came across was Eliot Mooney (see link at right) who lived 99 days. WOW, 99 days is eternity when you are being told not to look forward to even meeting your son this side of Heaven. That gave us our first sense of hope, that if Eliot can make it 99 days maybe our little boy can at least make it to birth. This is the hope that every family facing this situation needs to hold on to. Our prayer is that as they see the time that we were blessed with that, they might be encouraged as well. It isn't how much time we have with our children, the point is that every moment is precious. As a parent of one of these special little babies, it only takes one moment to be completely and utterly changed. Just ask any of our sweet "internet" friends that had only hours with their little boy and girl. We also want the site to be a resource where facts about Trisomy 18 can be accessed to help prepare parents for the birth of a child with special Trisomy 18 needs.

So, please be praying for us as we hoping to have our site up as soon as possible. I know it seems simple enough, but as I type, satan is trying to discourage and derail any effort we make. Please be praying that the Lord will provide the resources needed to have the site built and that the finished product would continue to bring more honor and glory to God in the days to come. Please continue to pray for our family as we still long for the sun to rise as most of our memories were at night. Please pray for Yvette as she is having a hard time knowing what to blog. Hopefully she will be back soon. Please continue to check our blog as I will update as soon as we have the foundation up and a website started.



Anonymous said...

I think you are both amazing to already be willing to give back, when you are so fresh in your grief. Satan can't win this battle. And I have already started praying for your foundation.


The VW's said...

Continuing to pray for your precious family! Thankyou for sharing your son's wonderful 56 days of life! Your testimony has been such a blessing to so many! What a purpose God had in little Tristan!

What a wonderful thing to do, starting a website for families facing a life with Trisomy 18! This will be such a blessing and resource for many! God is serving quite a purpose in you too!

I have been so touched by your family, your story and your faith in God! I've been so touched that I've added the link to your website to my own! I hope you don't mind. I just feel that many could benefit from the lessons taught from your story!

May God continue to give you the strength and peace to sustain! God Bless You!

Laurie said...

Trayc and Yvette,

I think of you and pray for you daily on this journey you are in. I have checked daily for updates, sometimes selfishly, looking for your words of wisdom and blessing and hope. Your vision is from God and He will give you all you need to get it running. I know that it will be such a huge blessing to those who are walking this road with you, and for those who do not know it yet, but will be walking here. The thought of the shocking diagnosis being told to them, all of the things you experienced in those first hours, the choosing of life over termination, all of it has been your experience. It will be such a blessed site and I am praying for it now. Yvette, I am praying for your heart as you have been through so much and don't know what to post. It is okay and you should feel no pressure. You will be back, I know it, because your words are blessed by the Lord, who holds you in His loving arms. I pray for your "getting through" each day to be gentle and healing for all of you. He is faithful. I have been so blessed in my faith by your story.

Love you, Laurie in Ca.

Mama10EE said...

What a testiment to your faith, creating a site where you can be a rock for others who will walk the same path. Your family has been such an inspiration to so many people. You have taught those of us with kids to cherish every moment, for we never know when those moments will end. God Bless you and your online ministry. Continuing to pray for you all!

Jennifer in WV

Anonymous said...

I am so blessed to read your entry and to hear how our Faithful and Loving Heavenly Father is leading you into this new ministry. I shall pray for you as you lay the foundation for this very needful and worthwhile foundation. Your faith in the Lord has touched my heart and has encouraged me in as I journey through life. Blessings to you and yours!

Susan in Pensacola

Amanda Ellis said...

I have been following your story since I was 15 weeks pregnant with my now 1 and a half month old son Dereon. We were told he had soft markers for T18, but we tested negative 5 months later.

I am so sorry and heartbroken for your loss. I cried for you, Yvette, knowing how terrified and hurt you must have felt, not being there when things went downhill. You got there in time. No one else in the world could possibly know how you are feeling......

But my heart goes out to all of you. I'll be thinking of you!!

Mandi, Daunte, Damari & Dereon Ellis

The Jackson's said...

I have been following your blog for some time now and have never left a comment. First of all I want to say, there are times I am up at night and I pray for the two of you. The Lord lays you on my heart often.

I will be praying as you start up this new ministy. What an awesome thing to offer other parents experiencing the same thing. I know a friend of a friend who found out they are having a baby with Trisomy 18. I am sure they could beneift from your website.

My husband and I over the last couple of years have also felt the calling for ministy together. So, I know how you feel. Praying the Lord will open all the doors that need to be opened and you will have the direction you need.


Anonymous said...

Trayc and Yvette,

Praise God for the new ministry He has layed on your hearts!!!!

I have been following your story since November (a co-worker of mine knew about Poppy Joy's website and then I found yours through her page).

I have grown to love your whole family and continue to pray God's richest blessings and healing and favor on all of you. What a joy to be able to pour into the lives of other Trisomy 18 families.

You are in my continued prayers - and I look forward to see all the wonderful ways God is going to use you.

God bless,
Rev. Sarah Bishop
Memphis, TN

Tami Muhlbauer said...

You count on my prayers!!

Love you all :)


Kim ( said...

Trayc & Yvette,
I am having a pitty party right's been a tough week and I have not even sat at the computer (have had the flu) but I want you to know that I love your family, I love Tristan (my girl's play mate I am sure) and I will be praying for this ministry and will continue to pray for you during this very difficult time.
With love,

petebon5 said...

that's great!! i still continue to pray for your family. i "met" you guys througth the stanfield blog!! and have been following your precious journey. which all of ya'll have really been an inspiration in my life.

Just little ole me said...

Praying for God to bless you and this ministry. Praying for Him to sustain your family and grant you healing.

So Blessed said...

May God bless you abundantly as you bless others in this new endeavor. What a true testimony to our loving God...that your family will comfort others with the comfort you yourselves have received during your difficult loss of your son. Your praise and gratitude for what you did have touches me is a shining example of faithfulness to the Word.

kitty said...

Good luck in your new ministry. I have laughed with your family and cried at news of your loss. I pray for you everyday. I know that this is a difficult time, but I also know that God will help you through.

Anonymous said...

Still thinking of you often, and excited for where God will lead. I volunteered off and on for several years at a South FL CPC, and it is a ministry where the devil gives no rest! May our Father make each step clear as you continue to share your story.
Lori in VA

Kenzie Stanfield said...

Y'all know that we will be praying for this incredible vision for the ministry that you are beginning in honor of Tristan. I am going to be checking in with y'all for details to see if there is anything I can do that would be similar in my part of the world.

Love your guys and continuing to pray as you walk this road in the Lord's will and timing!

In Christ.
Love you all,

JDouglass said...

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me..." (Phil 4:13) ~ what you all have shared with us of your precious Tristan is just the 'seed' ~ plant the 'seed', have faith to move the mountains and remember, 'greater is He that is in you, than he that in the world...' ~ the veil of darkness will rise, be it 'inch by inch' ~ "faith isn't faith until it's tested"... you have a vision and just like that veil of darkness, your vision will come to 'light', inch by inch... sending hugs from Alaska!

ann said...

i am going to pray for you right now that you would keep in sight the ministry God has presented to you and that you will rely on Him for strength when you are weary and when satan is dishing out the doubt.
God promises to guide us and protect us. i will pray that you rely on Him and He speaks this truth to you more and more in the coming days.

Rebecca said...

Trayc, thanks for the update. We'll be praying.

Trisomy 18 has a special place in my heart after "walking" this journey via the Internet with you and several other families.

I'll be praying.

Dee Dee said...

Praying for you and so encouraged to see that you are already working to comfort as you have been comforted (2 Corinthians 1).
And even as you labor in that, it will take time for you to feel anywhere near normal. But God is faithful. May He continue to bless your sweet family.

Emily said...

Amazing. Please let me know how I can support this awesome endeavor. I am still praying Yvette through the nights and asking God to pour out His blessings on you, each and every one, according to His perfect will.

Anonymous said...


I am amazed at your strength each time I visit with you and Yvette or a read a comment that you have left. At the same time you have allowed your emotions to show and I think that is precious and rare. It is so wonderful to see you hold your family close and comfort Yvette in such a tender way. God has truly put his hand on you. I pray for you and Yvette daily. You guys are an example for me...


Jen said...

I think that's wonderful.

I am a copywriter and would be honored to donate my services, if you are interested. You can reach me at, and you can see writing samples at

I am praying for your whole family. Tristan continues to be a blessing.

Kourtni Knobel said...

I have been following your story for awhile now and you and your beautiful family amaze me! If it is ok with you I have added your link onto my blog. If you would like it removed I am more then willing to do that! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Anonymous said...

Trayc -

Tell Yvette that if she feels up to it, blog what she truly feels. Her honesty and openness are some of the reasons people have read your blog over 150,000 times! Hearing about your family's struggles firsthand and witnessing the way you have leaned on God has been so helpful to others going through all sorts of difficulties.

Encourage Yvette to share only what she feels she is ready to share, but let her know that we are interested in you guys - from the mundane daily stuff to your family's special prayer needs!

Praying for you!

Pauline said...

You have an amazing family!
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you continue to strive to find peace!
Pauline and Tim

Dante said...

I've been thinking along similar lines, perhaps putting together a small book of experiences (I'm already an author, but fiction, not reality, and not reality like this.)

But we're only about two months in, and our baby (a girl, our third) is not due until June. So we have a lot more to go through before we get there. Best of luck to you!

Dante' (here in Jacksonville)

The Adoption Of William said...

How wonderful. This will be an amazing resource for families having a special little one with trisomy 18. How awesome.

God bless you guys,

Jen-william's Mom

Mandy said...

What a wonderful and awesome way to serve God. I think this is fantastic. I will pray for you guys as you work on your endeavor!