Saturday, February 2, 2008

Got out!

If you've followed our story since Tristan was born then you know we were "homebound" because of Tristan's condition and all of the devices he wore (oxygen tube, feeding tube, apnea wires) so we have not been out of the house as a family (except to have our picture w/Santa and the baby dedication). Well, we did it - tonight we got out as a family for the first time since December 2nd! It felt so good to get dressed up and get out of the house. We went to dinner and walked around Target for an hour (hey, that's therapy for me!). Getting out is great for me because I am not surrounded by all of Tristan's things which cause me to be so sad and then I just start crying and am overwhelmed with the pain and loss of our little boy. Tonight I was not afraid to see other moms with babies, maybe because I had Tristan for 56 days and we experienced so much in that short period of time that I feel like we did everything we wanted to do so I wasn't lacking that feeling of being a "new mommy". Tristan wore baby clothes, he wore diapers, we put him in the car seat, we put him in the stroller so seeing those baby things didn't make me sad. We had a great time tonight. We talked and laughed and just really enjoyed being out together as a family trying to move forward even though our hearts are aching.

Please continue to pray for us as we are still grieving the loss of our precious little boy and as I struggle with the emotions I feel during the night hours.


Christena said...

Dear Yvette,

I'm so glad to read that you were able to get out into the outside world (Target is a VERY important part of the outside world). I continue praying for you and your family as I know that the road of grief is not a short one. Having been a junkie to your site since November, I followed each day and after reading each day's journal I thanked God that you were living in every moment and leaving nothing to regret. You did everything right and Tristan was just so blessed to have spent those miraculous 56 days as a part of such a loving family of 5!

I hope that each day you're able to find ways to find peace and distraction as the pain slowly eases.


Laurie said...


It is so good to hear that you were able to get out tonight. Target is one of my destination places, has everything. I have been praying that through the sadness of missing Tristan, joy would find it's way to you. It is so beautiful to watch him steal your hearts and make you fall so much in love with him. He filled your hearts with pure love. I continue to pray daily that this love and the Lord carry you through the pain and lonliness on this road. Praying for your nights to be peaceful and blessed with wonderful memories Yvette. May your moving forward bring much hope and joy.

Love, Laurie in Ca.