Since losing Tristan in January, we've had to change the way we are celebrating events right now. It's really been hard not having him here with us to celebrate so it causes me to be emotional on those particular days. I seem to be sheltering myself and my heart from all of these 1st events because of the fear I will breakdown and ruin it for everyone. I know my family loves me and it would be okay if I cried or was sad but really, who wants to be around that? I do want to be that same fun "event girl" that I've always been but I know it's just going to take some time and space. Events are hard because although I'm with all of my family that loves me, inside it's still sad because ALL of my family really isn't here - my little boy is missing. We are simply trying the best we can to get through all of these 1st events, without Tristan, in a way that is best for us or should I say best for me! We chose to celebrate Easter and Mother's Day by ourselves, just the 4 of us, which was a very wise choice - they were extremely hard. And, Father's Day, any other year, would have consisted of us going to church, sitting on the row with my family, going to lunch with my family and then ending up at my Dad/Step-mom's house. Because Mother's Day was so hard, and it literally took me 2 weeks to get back emotionally to were I had been prior to that weekend, we decided to go against everything we normally do. We slept in, got up and made a big breakfast, the boys gave their gifts/cards to Trayc and we headed to the beach.
We had so much fun! Tanner loves the beach but this was only Tayden's 2nd time (I know crazy isn't it? We live in Florida and we're only 10 min from the beach, go figure!). Tanner tried to teach Tayden how to build a sandcastle but all he wanted to do was smash the castles with his shovel. Tanner dug a big hole in the sand for Tayden to slide down into and play with his toys. Tayden loved running down to the edge of the water, letting his little toes get wet and then quickly turn around and run back laughing. Trayc and the boys spent a lot of time in the water together, jumping over the waves and swimming. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, their was an ocean breeze, Trayc and I laughed, the boys played and we made some very special memories, ones filled with laughter and excitement. It was the perfect day, except that our precious little boy was greatly missed.
Happy Father's Day, TraycTrayc,
Thank you for being a wonderful husband of 18 years, for always believing in us, for never giving up, for leading our family spiritually, for teaching our boys about Jesus and for all of your love and support this past year through our journey with Tristan. Thank you for promising me, back in August, that we would not allow Satan to destroy us or our family because of this diagnosis and that we would use Tristan's story to honor and glorify the Lord no matter what. I also appreciate your patience during these past 6 months of grieving, your diligence in working on our foundation, working hard to consistently provide for our family and for keeping us faithful to our Lord. I look forward to all that the Lord has in store for our family in the upcoming year. I love you so much.
Your wife, Yvette
Happy Father's Day. You are the greatest dad.
Thank you for playing soccer with me, going up to the field to shoot my rockets, throwing the football in the yard and all the other things we do together. I really like spending alone time with you too like when we go kayaking for the day. I hope you have a great day. I love you so much!
I know Tayden can't talk yet, but I am sure he would tell you he loves you too and he would really thank you for keeping his "Thomas the Train" movies playing at all times of the day and night.
And, even though Tristan is not here I know he loved you so much and that he could see the love in your eyes and feel it when you talked to him and held him.
We love you,
Your 3 sons - Tanner, Tayden & Tristan
1 Blessed are all who fear the Lord,
who walk in his ways.
2 You will eat the fruit of your labor;
blessings and prosperity will be yours.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your sons will be like olive shoots
around your table.
4 Thus is the man blessed
who fears the Lord.
5 May the Lord bless you from Zion
all the days of your life;
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,
6 and may you live to see your children's children.
Peace be upon Israel!