Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

I was very fortunate to grow-up in a sweet christian home, one that loved Jesus and and placed a great deal of value on family. Having never left my hometown, I am still surrounded by all of my family. We have so many family traditions, ones that were established many years ago and have been passed down generation after generation, so there's never a question as to where we'll be on the BIG holidays, we'll always be together with family. We don't have to plan where we'll be, what food we're taking and even whose going to be there - it's just tradition! We love our families dearly and always enjoy celebrating with them.

Since losing Tristan in January, we've had to change the way we are celebrating events right now. It's really been hard not having him here with us to celebrate so it causes me to be emotional on those particular days. I seem to be sheltering myself and my heart from all of these 1st events because of the fear I will breakdown and ruin it for everyone. I know my family loves me and it would be okay if I cried or was sad but really, who wants to be around that? I do want to be that same fun "event girl" that I've always been but I know it's just going to take some time and space. Events are hard because although I'm with all of my family that loves me, inside it's still sad because ALL of my family really isn't here - my little boy is missing. We are simply trying the best we can to get through all of these 1st events, without Tristan, in a way that is best for us or should I say best for me! We chose to celebrate Easter and Mother's Day by ourselves, just the 4 of us, which was a very wise choice - they were extremely hard. And, Father's Day, any other year, would have consisted of us going to church, sitting on the row with my family, going to lunch with my family and then ending up at my Dad/Step-mom's house. Because Mother's Day was so hard, and it literally took me 2 weeks to get back emotionally to were I had been prior to that weekend, we decided to go against everything we normally do. We slept in, got up and made a big breakfast, the boys gave their gifts/cards to Trayc and we headed to the beach.


We had so much fun! Tanner loves the beach but this was only Tayden's 2nd time (I know crazy isn't it? We live in Florida and we're only 10 min from the beach, go figure!). Tanner tried to teach Tayden how to build a sandcastle but all he wanted to do was smash the castles with his shovel. Tanner dug a big hole in the sand for Tayden to slide down into and play with his toys. Tayden loved running down to the edge of the water, letting his little toes get wet and then quickly turn around and run back laughing. Trayc and the boys spent a lot of time in the water together, jumping over the waves and swimming. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, their was an ocean breeze, Trayc and I laughed, the boys played and we made some very special memories, ones filled with laughter and excitement. It was the perfect day, except that our precious little boy was greatly missed.


Happy Father's Day, Trayc

Trayc,

Thank you for being a wonderful husband of 18 years, for always believing in us, for never giving up, for leading our family spiritually, for teaching our boys about Jesus and for all of your love and support this past year through our journey with Tristan. Thank you for promising me, back in August, that we would not allow Satan to destroy us or our family because of this diagnosis and that we would use Tristan's story to honor and glorify the Lord no matter what. I also appreciate your patience during these past 6 months of grieving, your diligence in working on our foundation, working hard to consistently provide for our family and for keeping us faithful to our Lord. I look forward to all that the Lord has in store for our family in the upcoming year. I love you so much.

Your wife, Yvette


Daddy,

Happy Father's Day. You are the greatest dad.

Thank you for playing soccer with me, going up to the field to shoot my rockets, throwing the football in the yard and all the other things we do together. I really like spending alone time with you too like when we go kayaking for the day. I hope you have a great day. I love you so much!

I know Tayden can't talk yet, but I am sure he would tell you he loves you too and he would really thank you for keeping his "Thomas the Train" movies playing at all times of the day and night.

And, even though Tristan is not here I know he loved you so much and that he could see the love in your eyes and feel it when you talked to him and held him.

We love you,
Your 3 sons - Tanner, Tayden & Tristan



Psalm 128:1-6:

1 Blessed are all who fear the Lord,
who walk in his ways.

2 You will eat the fruit of your labor;

blessings and prosperity will be yours.

3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine

within your house;
your sons will be like olive shoots
around your table.

4 Thus is the man blessed

who fears the Lord.

5 May the Lord bless you from Zion

all the days of your life;
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,

6 and may you live to see your children's children.


Peace be upon Israel!

12 comments:

Kirsten said...

Yvette,

What a beautiful post! I'm so glad that you had the courage to do what was best for you on Father's Day. The pictures are precious! It sounds like it was a wonderful day.

Milestone days are tough. I'm in one right now - today is two months since Chloe was delivered. I'm doing pretty well, considering. And have certainly made a lot of progress in the last two months. God has been so good - His comfort and peace have been constant.

Just wanted to reach out and let you know I'm praying for you and all the other grieving moms I've met.

God bless you today,
Kirsten

Kenzie said...

Yvette-

What a beautiful post to Trayc and how he has walked your family through this time (obviously with the Lord leading!) I love you and can't wait to see you this next week!

Love,
Kenzie

Nathan said...

Yvette,

What a wonderful tribute to Trayc! I'm so glad the day was filled with so many good memories!!! Can't wait to see you soon.

Angie

Laurie said...

Yvette,

It looks like you guys had a wonderful Fathers Day and the change in the way you celebrated was because of a precious little boy named Tristan. He changed so many things in his time here with you, drawing you so close together as a family of five in that sweet time. So many celebrations, Christmas every night, I loved that so much. Your bond will never be broken though your heart aches for him. I am praying for the "Sisterhood" celebration to bless your socks off. What a blessing it will be to meet all of these sweet mommies face to face, tears to tears, hugs to hugs, oh and the sharing of stories of these sweet babies I have been blessed to pray for. Please do me a favor and give each and every one of these girls a big hug and tell them it is from Laurie in Ca. with so much love!!
You have all taught me so much and I love you for it.

Laurie in Ca.

Linda said...

Thank you for sharing Tristan's story. I found your blog through a link on someone else's blog and was taken aback when I saw Tristan's birth pictures. My son, Ben, looked so very similar. He was so beautiful, and it was not until months after his death that I even really noticed that he looked "different" from my other babies. We only had six hours with Ben, and I have to admit that I am envious of your time with Tristan. We had no indication that our son had trisomy-18 until his actual birth, and while I think I knew sometime was not totally right with this pregnancy, I was repeatedly reassured that things just seemed different with this pregnancy because I was an older mom at age 45. I accepted this because it was what I wanted to hear. We prayed daily during the pregnancy that we would lead Ben to a relationship with Jesus at an early age. How odd to think that it will be Ben who introduces us to Jesus instead. He would have turned 4 years old in May, and I've thought a lot about him lately. He was beautiful to us then, but it amazes me to think that he is indeed truly perfect at this time.

www.lindaschildren.blogspot.com

Jenny said...

the boys have really grown! it's good to see you on here again. i think of you guys all the time and wonder how you are.

still praying...

Tamara said...

Yvette,

I check your post regularly and I am always so touched by your words, thoughts and feelings. You are an inspiration to me. I prayed extra for you and Trayc on Mother's Day and Father's Day as I knew that they would be very difficult. I want you to know that you are loved and prayed for daily. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your life! You are a blessing to me, my sweet friend.

I love you,
Tamara

Jen in Al said...

oh, Yvette, i have checked so many times and thought of you and prayed! i think it is so wise to listen to the prompting of your heart regarding 1st events and all the decisions the Lord is leading you through on this journey. you are such a blessing to me. Praying for you and your sweet family! i am also praying for your time with the other sweet Mommies! warms my heart to think of you all together. in Christ, jen in al

Laurie said...

Hi Yvette,

Just want you to know I am starting this week out with prayers for you and looking forward to hearing all about the time with the girls. I hope to see lots of pictures too. I love you and hope this week is a wonderful one for you and your family.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Corie said...

I have been away for awhile and caught up on your blog. Oh how I wish I knew you were from Florida. My husband and I were in Florida June 9th-15th. I would have loved to have met you. Well now I know. I am glad that Fathers Day went a little smoother. I can relate. Sounds like our Mothers day/Fathers day. So hard to figure how to "celebrate" these holidays now. Enjoying it with the ones we have and yet someone is always missing. Hope you enjoy your weekend with the girls

Kirsten said...

Yvette,

It was such a blessing to see you on Saturday and be able to give you a hug. Just seeing all of you in person soothed my heart. I get overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Thank you for allowing me to spend some time with you and the other mommies. I know the time you had together was precious, and I so appreciate you all welcoming me during lunch.

It was the highlight of my trip and such a gift from God.

I'm glad to have met you in person. I can still see your eyes - so beautiful. For some reason they remind me of Tristan. So precious.

Blessings to you,
Kirsten

Erin said...

Yvette,
It was a privilege to meet you in person this weekend at the conference after reading your blog for so long. Your faith is inspiring. Praying for God's blessings to continue to be poured out on you and your family.