Day 21 - Baby Dedication at church

We had a rough night last night. Tristan's apnea monitor went off 3 times during the night but just like always he started breathing again. Of course at 3:00 am, his favorite time to wake up, he started fussing and I rubbed his head and did everything I normally do, but I didn't put him in our bed, he kept fussing and Trayc said, "You know what he wants don't you? he wants to be in mommy's bed like he is every night". What do you think he did when he got in our bed? Your right, he quit fussing and went right to sleep until his next feeding at 6:00 am. Okay, maybe I have spoiled him just a little bit. Around 3:00 pm yesterday we noticed Tristan's skin quickly changed colors from his normal, medium complexion, to a very pale white so we immediately gave him oxygen and his color slowly started changing back. We called the Hospice nurse and she said it could be that he was just in a deep sleep and breathing swallow and wasn't getting enough oxygen so she advised we put the oxygen tube in his nose and leave it on for atleast the next 24 hrs and to closely watch him. However, this happened several more times during the night and this morning so we are going to leave the oxygen tube on him until we speak with the geneticist. We have a telephone conference with the geneticist tomorrow to see if this means we need to put the oxygen tube on him 24 hrs a day and/or is this "the change" he told us to look for back at our meeting on December 13th. I will be honest, it has been a little emotional for me since this started happening yesterday because it is hard to see his color change (to white/blue) and not think that maybe this is the end. I realize we have been given so much more time than we ever prayed for and more than alot of people with T-18 babies but he is still my precious baby boy, we have fallen deeply in love with him every day and the thought of losing him is extremely hard. We are hoping to have some answers after the telephone conference tomorrow, maybe it's just simply he needs to wear the oxygen tube all the time, we don't know. On to more cheerful things - the excitement for today? We had the incredible opportunity to dedicate Tristan in church this morning. We had a baby dedication service at the hospital, just 2 hours after Tristan was born, because we did not know how long we would have with him. As the weeks have gone by, this has become a big desire of ours, to stand before our church family and dedicate Tristan to the Lord just like we did with Tanner and Tayden after they were born AND we wanted our church family to see the baby they've been praying for since August and see our family's miracle, he is alive and has been with us for 21 days!!!! I cannot describe how proud I felt as I stood there holding Tristan before the Lord and before our church family. This journey began back in August and there I stood today, holding Tristan in my arms. I was so overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord and as our pastor was praying at the end of the dedication I could not stop the tears from running down my face because I was silently praying "Thank you Jesus for choosing us to be Tristan's parents, for allowing me to be Tristan's mom, for giving us the past 21 days, to be standing here today with him in my arms giving him to you and no matter how hard this journey might be sometimes I thank you so much for bringing us this far and know you will continue to carry us every day." We left immediately after the dedication but let Tanner stay at church with my parents and grandparents and then he spent the entire day with my parents. My parents brought Tanner home at 5:00 pm and stayed until 9:00 pm holding and loving Tristan. I am so thankful that all my family lives here in town and we are able to see them all the time. Please pray specifically for Trayc and I as we are going to take turns watching Tristan all night, for Tristan's apnea spells and color change, please pray for our conversation with the geneticist tomorrow, please pray for me regarding the emotions I'm feeling right now and please pray for us as we face another new day tomorrow.