Day 10 - Enjoying every single moment

When I woke up this morning I realized the date was December 12th, this was originally supposed to be the day Tristan was born but due to the extra 4 weeks of fluid in my stomach and Tristan's stomach measuring 6 weeks behind the doctor was afraid Tristan may not make it until the 12th. I am so glad we moved it up and that we have already been able to share 10 days with him. The Lord is just blessing our family in the most unbelievable way. During my pregnancy we prayed that if God's plan would be better served by taking Tristan's little life early then we would accept that and if His plan would be better served by allowing him some time with us then we would honor and glorify the Lord in all that we did. Therefore, in obedience and thankfulness to the Lord we are enjoying every single moment we have with Tristan and thanking Him for it all day, as we remain in a prayerful spirit. Tristan had a great day and he is just amazing us as he becomes a little more alert each day. I had a follow up doctors appt. at 8:30 am this morning. My doctor said I was doing great - no fluid in my lungs and my hemoglobin level was 11.0, it was 8 in the hospital when they ordered the 2 blood transfusions, so this was great news. Now I'm just waiting for my energy to kick in, the doctor said it could take at least 3-4 more weeks due to the amount of blood loss, I just thought "new blood" meant I'd feel like a new person, immediately! The excitement for today was that we received the pulse oximeter from Hospice which will alarm when, and if, his heart rate slows down, he stops breathing or when his oxygen level gets too low. We had a Respiratory Therapist come to the house and teach us how to use it. I am hoping it will allow me to be a little less afraid to walk away from Tristan, at this point someone is watching him 24 hrs. a day. I realize it has the tendency to go off even if it's not "an emergency" but I would rather it alert us and there not be a need to rush to assistance than to not know what is going on. I know there is going to come a time I must completely release that fear and trust the Lord to take care of Tristan but it's just to soon for me right now not to worry 24 hrs a day that he might stop breathing and I couldn't help him. This brings back so many memories of when Tanner was born 11 yr. ago, he was 4 weeks early and only weighed 5 lbs. Although he was a healthy baby we still had him sleeping between us for the first 6 weeks so that we could watch him breath, so as you can imagine my fear is so much greater with Tristan. During my daily quiet time I am asking the Lord to calm my fears and allow me to not worry as much. As promised to Tanner, we celebrated Christmas tonight by listening to Christmas music during dinner and then Tayden was so tired from today that he went to bed early so Trayc and I spent some time upstairs with Tristan while Tanner and Trayc's mom spent time quality time together downstairs. Trayc and his brother own a tile, stone and granite company so fortunately he has been able to take off work for the past 10 days, however he is going to work for the next 2 days so we are taking the "night hours" tonight and allowing his mom to sleep so that she can help me tomorrow. Please pray for us as we take the "night hours", please pray that Trayc's mom will sleep well tonight, please pray for Trayc's mom and I as we take care of Tristan without Trayc tomorrow, please pray for Tristan's continued strength, and please pray for us as we face another new day tomorrow.