Day 13 - Mommy's night out

Trayc's mom took the "night hours" so we were able to get another good night sleep. Tristan had another great night too! I just cannot believe we are on Day 13. The Lord is blessing us with so much more time than we ever asked for - 13 days NEVER seemed possible to us back in August. Tristan truly is our Christmas miracle and "our little fighter". Before I kiss Tristan goodnight I pray with him, I tell him I love him so much and that Jesus loves him. Sometimes I feel like I say the same prayer every night but I just don't know what else to say. My heart is overflowing with such thanks to the Lord as I am still in awe that Tristan is actually here with our family, in our home, but how many different ways can you say all of that? I know the Lord sees my heart and understands that although right now it's the same prayer every night, it comes straight from the purity of my heart:

Dear Jesus, Thank you, thank you, thank you for another wonderful day with Tristan. Thank you for allowing Tristan to make it to Day __. Thank you for entrusting this precious baby boy to our family knowing we would honor and glorify you in all that we say and do. Jesus, I am asking for another day with Tristan and I am still believing in the miracle of healing for his little body, however that might be. I pray that you will use our story as a testimony of your miracles and as an encouragement to all the girls who come behind me on this "Trisomy 18 road" and that Tristan's days with us will give them a renewed sense of hope as they continue in their pregnancy and the uncertainty of their own babies lives. Jesus watch over Tristan tonight. I thank you and praise you for all that you are doing in our family. Amen.

Trayc went to work today and then my grandparents came over this afternoon to see Tristan, you know he got lots of love and kisses from them, no one loves like a grandparent! The excitement for today? Mommy got out of the house, finally! True, I went to the doctor's appt. on Thursday but that's not really getting out of the house. Wow, the world still keeps going on around you doesn't it? I couldn't believe all of the Christmas decorations and lights in our neighborhood, they were beautiful - yes, I have definitely been in the house too long! I bought all the Christmas presents on my list, the day after Thanksgiving, wrapped them and put them under the tree because I knew I'd be home for awhile and not able to drive for at least 2 weeks but I never got around to buying the boys their Christmas outfits (I usually do this in November). I don't know, every time I'd walk into Hartstring Clothes for Children, I would get so sad and not be able to focus so we'd just leave. I buy the boys church clothes there so Tanner and Tayden can match (Tanner loves matching Tayden) but at the end of my pregnancy I just couldn't do it, my mind kept saying, "Tristan probably won't leave the hospital, he won't be here at Christmas so you'll never get to dress all 3 boys up for Christmas Day, you'll never make it to church for Christmas", Satan still tries to work on us all the way to the end, doesn't he? So with great excitement tonight, and obviously only 9 days left until church on Sunday the 23rd, I knew I needed to buy the boys their outfits, hey at least they're on sale now, right? After that we went to Target, that's all this girl needs to have a good night out - shopping at Target!!!! Trayc and I had fun getting out for 2 hrs. and spending some time alone but I was, at the same time, counting every minute we were gone and very anxious to get back because I felt guilty for leaving Tristan and was afraid something might happen and we couldn't get back in time. It was late when we came back home, Tanner and Tayden were in bed, so we took Tristan to our bed and spent 3 hrs. holding him, loving on him and praying with him. Please pray for Trayc's mom as she takes the "night hours", for Tristan's continued strength and for us as we face another new day tomorrow.