Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Day 37 - Back to normal

Tristan had a great night last night, he slept all night and his apena monitor only went off once. He had a little rougher day today and his apnea monitor went off 6 times. The excitement for today? Honestly, attempting to get things back to normal at home. Trayc back to work, cleaning the house, Tristan's feedings every 3 hrs., loving and holding Tristan most of the day, Tanner refocused on home-school (this is so hard, all he wants to do is hold Tristan), Tayden back to playing by himself (this is so hard, all he wants to do is play with Tanner), Tanner back to piano lessons, Tanner back to church choir, Tanner back to practicing soccer before he begins another season in a few weeks and oh yeah, taking a shower before Trayc gets home! I'm tired just thinking about all I have to do to get back to a normal life. We have had an incredible month of holiday celebrations and fun nightly activities, as you can tell by all the photos since Tristan came home and although we are so excited Tristan is still with us and we will continue to have fun nightly activities, we need to start getting back to normal as much as possible. I realized that tonight more than ever before. I told Tanner with Tristan having several "blue spells" the last 2 days that he may not be able to start back to choir tomorrow night, it may be another week or two(we live an hour from church). Oh the sadness in his eyes and total disappointment as his little shoulders slummed over and he quietly said, "Yes mam, I understand" and walked to his room. It just broke my heart so I quickly walked into his room and said, "I realize our life and yours has been on-hold since August and I greatly appreciate you being so understanding. We will figure out about choir for tomorrow night okay, I promise". I love Tanner so much, he's our first born and he is definitely our first miracle baby, as we were told we'd never have children!!! He has been so unbelievable through all of this, we're together all day so he's been through this every day too, the good days and the sad days, and we had promised him that his life would return back to normal after Tristan was born. So, here we are on Day 37 and basically his little ears heard me saying "No, life is not returning back to normal yet you'll have to wait just a little longer". I told Trayc what Tanner had said and he agreed that we really need to make sure we do everything possible to get Tanner's life somewhat back to normal even with the uncertainty of each day and with the uncertainty of Tristan's life. If you're a mom of a T-18 baby and have other children then you completely understand the situation we're in right now, trying to provide 24 hr. care to Tristan and enjoy every moment we have with him realizing we only have so long with him and then trying to keep your other children's lives in a normal state too, fortunately Tayden doesn't not know or care about anything except playing with his toys and with his big brother Tanner, so he doesn't feel it but Tanner does. So please pray that we, as parents, can attempt in the midst of total uncertainty with Tristan, return Tanner's life back to some kind of normalcy. And as always, please pray for Tristan's strength, please pray for the apnea to decrease and please pray for us as we face a new day tomorrow.


Holly said...

Hi All,
I would definitely agree that you need some kind of routine in your lives, esp. for the kiddos. I guarantee your life will never be "normal" again. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. You will adjust to a new "normal" for you.

Hope all continues to go well for Tristan. I continue to pray for him and for your entire family.

Holly -- mom of Morgan (trisomy 18 10 1/2 yrs. old

karalyn said...

What a wonderful and understanding big brother Tanner is. He sounds like such a great kid! Sending up prayers for Tristan.

Cyn said...

Prayers have been prayed and continue to be prayed for you.

Pat said...

I am contiously praying for you and I know it has to try to get things back to normal with all that is going on in your life, when it is hard for me to get back after just Christmas. I am exciting about the party at the hospital, looks like it was a great time and God has really surrounded you in this time with godly caring people.

I went to lunch with a Friend who goes to FBC and she asked me about you in fact when you dedicated Tristan she realized that she normally sets in the same section as your family. Anyway she reminded me that when your Pastor does a dedication he normal tells the meaning of the baby's name and gives a verse for the baby. I looked back to see if you had mention it when you dedicated Tristan and I didn't see and I am not sure if you nemtion if before but I was wondering if you could share that with us.

I pray that you got Tanner to choir last night or at least by next Wednesday, if I lived closer or still went to FBC I would volunteer to take him but I will pray that God would provide a way and I know he will because Tanner is his child and has such a Tender heart for one so young.

Enjoy every day that you have with Tristan and your precious family.

Shane and Devin said...

Have been praying, and will continue to do so!

Devin in Illinois

Kenzie Stanfield said...

What a big heart and big perspective Tanner has for such a young child. You have obviously done a wonderful job with him and he loves his family and respects you and Trayc tremendously! I think that it has to be difficult to let the time get "back to normal", a new one that is, but also necessary. We will be praying for this adjustment and for his tender heart!

Love you guys and praying,

Jen in Al said...

Praying.... you all are incredible parents to all 3 of your boys! it is such a blessing to read how you all are living each day for the Lord. You can tell that God is definitely working in Tanner's life! What a sweet son and brother!
jen in al