Monday, November 5, 2007

A Season of Prayer

At church yesterday our pastor said that he was calling the month of November, "A Season of Prayer and Thanksgiving". He has asked that as a church family, we be committed to pray. We will receive a prayer card at the close of each Sunday morning service to serve as a guide throughout the week. The verses this week are Psalm 88:1-2: "O Lord God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee: Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry". Wow, what verses, for us as a family, this is what we did the first few weeks, cry day and night before the Lord asking Him to help us because we didn't know how we would make it to December - yet here we are. This is also the perfect time for this "Season of Prayer" to begin, we only have 5 1/2 weeks of my pregnancy left! Prayer is something we have definitely come to rely on, actually, besides our trust and faith in the Lord, it is truly the only thing we have held on to since we found out about Tristan on August 15th. All we know to do is pray!!!! But knowing what to pray for has been the hard part. In my life, I have always known exactly what I was praying about/for, but this is so different. I mean, do I pray for the Lord to completely heal Tristan? do I pray that the amnio results are wrong and prove to the high-risk doctors that they are not 100% accurate (like we were so adamantly told, without any regard to our emotions!)? do I pray that the Lord's will be done? or do I open up by heart, with the great possibility of being hurt if my requests are not answered, and specifically pray? My heart and emotions have been back and forth since August 15th about whether it is even really possible to know what I want regarding Tristan's precious life. I would have never dreamed of being here, not knowing how long we would have with our baby, but yet I know without a doubt that God chose Trayc and I to be Tristan's parents for a reason, and that I may never know (this side of Heaven) the answer for any of this, therefore all I can really do is pray and trust in His will - obviously, I want the Lord's will to be done because He knows better than we do and He knows the future. Yet this is SO HARD TO PRAY because the desire of my heart, as Tristan's mother, is to only pray for complete healing, after all, no one would want to lose their precious baby! We have received so many cards from people saying they are "praying for a miracle and for complete healing". Of course, after we found out that Tristan would be born with Trisomy 18, my ONLY prayer was for complete healing because I was so devastated that I honestly couldn't see how I would go on if he didn't live and if there wasn't complete healing, but the further I have come emotionally and spiritually, and with the peace I now feel I'm praying differently. I am still praying for complete healing, but at the same time I am opening up my heart to pray for specific "little" miracles in Tristan's life. I realize the Lord, He himself, has the power to completely heal him, but if He does not chose to completely heal him (this side of Heaven) then I am praying: 1) that he makes it to my c-section date of Dec. 12th, 2) that he is born alive, 3) that he lives at least 24 hrs. Wow, as I sit here and type those 3 things I realize how far the Lord has brought me since August 15th, and it is only by God's grace and peace that I can say them. No mother would ever dream of only praying her baby would live 24 hrs. but that is where we are right now, that would be our miracle (as we have been told by doctors that only 50% are born alive and the ones that do only live a few minutes to a few hours). Regardless of Tristan's number of days here on earth, he is our 3rd miracle baby. We have told Tanner, our 11 yr. old (since he was able to talk), that he was our "1st miracle baby" because doctors told us we would never be able to have children, and then when we had Tayden, Tanner said, "Mom, now we have a 2nd miracle baby". Yes, we did and now, even though the future of Tristan's life is so uncertain, he is still our "3rd miracle baby" and we will always refer to him as that. He has already been our family's miracle for so many reasons - the conception of him without infertility medication, that he is still alive today at 34 weeks, that he is continuing to grow and gain weight and that he has touched us in a way that we can't even describe. Our prayer as a family is that our experience as we travel this "Trisomy 18 road" and that Tristan's life, no matter how long or short, will touch people all around the world and that through it all, the Lord Jesus will be honored and glorified!!!

10 comments:

Margaret Dixon said...

Yvette & Trayc,

I met a child this summer with Trisomy 18 and I kind of know what you are dealing with.

My prayers will be with your sweet family and the decisions you will have to make.

Love,
Margaret Dixon

Jenifer said...

Dear Hostetter Family,

We are new members at FBC. We almost didn't go this past Sunday, but the Lord kept moving in my heart to go...I would never have dreamed you all would be telling a story my husband & I lived 5 years ago. I would love a chance to speak with you...in the meantime, we will fervently pray for you all.

In Christ's love & peace,
Jenifer Polly

Jared, Kristin, Deanna, and Avery Edwards said...

We are sorry to hear of Tristan's condition. We just delivered a our little boy Sunday morning, Jonathan. He had a heartbeat on Wednesday but it was around 100 beats per minute and his body was shutting down. We decided to induce labor on Saturday so we can be with Jonathan before he died. But when we got to the hospital, he did not have a heartbeat. We got to spend a little time with him Sunday morning and took some pictures with the family which was sweet. It will be sweet memories to us even though we did not get to hold him when he was alive. We will be praying for you in the days to come that the Lord will comfort you in this time and Tristan will be a long term survivor of T18. Whatever the outcome, God will be faithful.

Jared and Kristin Edwards
http://www.jonathanjarededwards.blogspot.com/

Alison said...

Yvette,

You probably don't remember me; I just came back to FBC after many years. (I was good friends with Julie Dingle in college, and graduated from Wolfson same year as Trayc, I believe.) I didn't know you well, but remember what a sweet spirit you had.

I just wanted to tell you that I have been praying for you guys during this challenging time. It is so obvious from reading your blog how the Lord has grown you, and you are an inspiration to me. I know you said you "don't know what to pray", but really, you do. . . I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to pray what Jesus did: Lord, if this cup could pass from us (if Tristan could be healed completely), please Lord we would be so grateful . . . or if we could at least have some time . . . nevertheless, Lord your will be done.

I can't imagine what you are going through. I know God will give you strength when you need it. And I know He will use you; He already has. Hang in there, and know you and Trayc and all your boys are loved by all your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Prayerfully,
Alison (Wiseman) Kennedy

Kenzie Stanfield said...

Yvette-

Thank you so much for posting on our blog! A couple days prior to your post I actually spent some time on your site and wrote a long comment that ended up getting deleted... Long story short, I am so thankful that even in these difficult times in our lives that the Lord Almighty puts people in our path that know just what we are walking. I wish that this wasn't something that either of our families were sharing, but I know that the Lord is still good and gracious and merciful even through the uncertainty of the future. I would love to talk to you via email as you had mentioned on our blog, and if you would like to email me as well, mine is kenzie.stanfield@yahoo.com. I will be praying for the next several weeks to be a tremendous blessing and that you will get time with your precious Tristan. Thank you for sharing your walk as well!

Faithfully praying,
Kenzie

~I would love to post a link to your blog on my site if you wouldn't mind. The more people praying and knowing that we really aren't alone in this would be wonderful!

Anonymous said...

I am lifting your precious family in prayer. Our loving Heavenly Father will bless you with the strength and comfort that you need in this journey...we can trust that this is true because His word tells us that He is faithful to keep His promises. Susie

pipsylou said...

Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

Anonymous said...

Yvette: I am praying for you in Tennessee.
Karen

Stuart Rigdon said...

Yvette and Trayc,

We too were told that our third child, Dillon, would have Trisomy 18. We did not have a amnio, but were told that with Gina's test results, it had to be a trisomy 18 baby. God answered our prayers and he is now 8 years and fine. I will pray for you daily that God will give healing to you and your precious little one. Love your cousin, Stuart Rigdon

Mandy said...

I am praying for you! Our daughter, Madeline Grace, had T18 and lived for only 12 hours, although we were so blessed to have that time with her. She was born in June. Please know that I know your fears and God will not forsake you. He has had my family in the palm of His hand through all of this. You can see our story at madelinegracehopkins.blogspot.com

God Bless you.
Mandy
GA