Happy 2nd Birthday, Tayden!

Tayden turned 2 yrs old today! I look at my precious little boy in these pictures above and realize how fast time has gone by, he is no longer my baby. He is my sweet, crazy, funny, totally unpredictable 2 year old who is a mommy's boy for sure! He is so different than Tanner was. Tanner was our perfect little boy that we could take anywhere at anytime and was always so proper, people would always stop and say that he acted like a little man and he really did. But Tayden, let's just say we don't get those comments but you know what? It's okay. I will never forget a conversation we had sitting at the kitchen table only 4 days after we found out about Tristan having Trisomy 18 (this is part of the entry dated August 18, 2007):

We had all been sitting on the couch talking and crying and then we went to the kitchen to eat dinner. After we prayed, Tayden, our 1 1/2 yr. old, pulls his shirt over his head so that it is resting behind his head and on his shoulders, then he puts his rubber spoon in his mouth and starts flipping it so that it's hitting his forehead and then he puts both feet on the table and starts laughing. Okay, this is not the typical dinner at our house, he has honestly never done this. Infact, we would have never, ever accepted this kind of behavior when our 11 yr. old was that age because we were so strict about everything and that included table manners. I said, "oh, if Grammy(my mom) could see you now!" we all kind of smiled, and then Tanner, our 11 yr. old, said, "You know what mommy, maybe the reason the Lord waited 10 years to send us Tayden is because He knew we'd all need him right now because he's just so wild and silly!" I said, "Maybe you're right Tanner, maybe Tayden will (without even knowing it) be the one who helps us heal during this difficult time and maybe he will keep us laughing when we really don't want to."

We will never know why we tried 9 years to get pregnant and then 4 days before invitro found out we were pregnant with Tayden, but I do know I am so thankful the Lord sent us Tayden right when he did because HE IS exactly what we have needed this past year. He has helped mend my hurting heart on many a days with his sweet voice of saying, "Mommy" or when he puts both his hands on my face and gives me a sweet kiss or when he stands in the chair behind me and points to Tristan's picture on the blog and says "baby" or when he acts silly by taking off only one sock and one shoe and tossing them over the front seat of the car or when he takes Tanner's stuffed animals and runs down the hallway laughing or when he holds on to my neck so tight that he won't let go. All of these things make me feel special, loved, they make me laugh and that keep me going on the hard days. Tayden will never truly understand all that his little life has gotten our family through this past year!

Trayc worked a half day today, so when I woke up I got Tayden out of bed and went into Tanner's room. Tayden laid down beside Tanner, like he does every morning, and we sang "Happy Birthday". Tayden started laughing and clapping so we sang it again and then one more time, for a total of 3 times. We ate breakfast and had a sweet morning together. Oh this is what I needed today as there were lots of emotions that flooded my heart when I woke up. There was excitement because it was Tayden's birthday, there was the reality of the day being the 27th which meant Tristan had been gone exactly 2 months and there was a sadness felt because Tristan was not here to celebrate his big brother's birthday. We got pregnant the weekend of Tayden's 1st birthday so we were thrilled to FINALLY know that we would have 2 children close in age. Tanner and Tayden are 10 years apart and although you do not see the difference when they play, there IS still the age difference, so Tristan being only 21 months younger than Tayden made us happy! I will forever miss seeing Tristan and Tayden sitting in the floor playing together, sharing each others toys and having a bond like only brothers can. But I am thankful that Tristan lived long enough to bring him home so that I could have pictures of all 3 of my boys together and one day, when Tayden is older, we will be able to show him pictures of Tristan and be able to tell him all about his little brother.

We had Tayden's party tonight. The party theme was Thomas the Train, of course, what else is there right? Tayden's room decor is wall-to-wall with Thomas, he wears Thomas shoes, he wears Thomas clothes, he only watches Thomas movies and he only likes to sit and play at his Thomas train table full of Thomas trains. So, it's Thomas, Thomas, Thomas around here!!!!! We have always celebrated birthdays in a big way because we want that person to feel like it's THEIR day! We usually have between 25-30 people with lots of food and decorations but this year, with having just lost Tristan 8 weeks ago and still trying to get through these first few weeks, I really wanted it to be small and simple. We invited only family and had pizza and cake. It was a sweet night of celebrating Tayden.

Happy Birthday Tayden!

We love you - Daddy, Mommy and Tanner