Day 30 - Happy New Year

*******2008********

Tristan had another really good night, his apnea monitor did not go off at all and he slept very well, so did we, we feel very rested today!!!! After we got in bed I laid beside Tristan, snuggling up to him, rubbing his little head, praying and then reflecting back on this past year and all of the events we've been through as a family, as it has been very busy:

• January - We drove here, to our new house which was only framed at the time, for Tanner and Trayc to do their own fireworks, because we thought it would be neat when we finally lived here to look back and say "we were here last year". We put our house, my childhood home of 40 yrs., up for sale.
  

• March - We celebrated Tayden's 1st birthday. We were able to get pregnant on our own, without infertility medication.

• April - We sold our house. We moved into my grandparents house.
  

• July - We celebrated Tanner's 11th birthday. We found out we were having ANOTHER boy. We named our 3rd boy, Tristan Asher Hostetter.
  

• August - We found out Tristan had T-18. We closed and moved into our new house.
  

• September - I spent most of my days on the Internet researching T-18. Trayc and I celebrated our birthdays.
  

• October - Trayc and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. I met new Internet friends traveling this same T-18 road.
  

• November - We prepared for Tristan's birth and went to numerous appts. with doctors and specialists. We gave our video testimony at our church. We celebrated Thanksgiving in our new home.
  

• December - This was the month of miracles. We became a Family of 5 on December 3rd when Tristan was born at 12:42 pm, December 7th we brought Tristan home, we celebrated Christmas every day, December 23rd we dedicated Tristan to the Lord at our church, December 24th we celebrated Tristan's 1st Christmas Eve, December 25th we celebrated Tristan's 1st Christmas, December 31st we celebrated Tristan's 4-wk birthday and New Years Eve.

As all of this was going through my mind I started crying because I looked ahead to January 1st, 2009 and wondered what I would be reminiscing about on December 31, 2008. Will it be full of excitement, full of sadness and loss, or a balanced combination of each? Obviously the first thing I will remember is that our precious miracle baby boy was with us as we brought in the new year and he slept snuggled up beside me all night long. But then I thought how many more memories will we have the opportunity to make with him in this new year? Will he make it to Valentines Day in February? Easter in March? Tayden's 2nd birthday in March? Would Tristan surprise all the doctors and make it to Mother's Day in May? My heart was breaking because I long to have him here with us for every event in our family because he is a part of our family now, I love that HE makes us a Family of 5 and I don't want to go back to being a Family of 4 anymore. I have said so many times before that during my pregnancy and since Tristan was born that I only look at today but I let my mind go past that last night, after all I'm only human but more than that, I am a mother who loves her little boy so much and can't imagine my life without him and I still long for the "miracle" to happen. I don't know how long we will have Tristan but am so thankful for how many days the Lord has given us thus far. And, although this is not the road I would have chosen for our family, it has changed us forever and we will never be the same because of our precious baby boy, Tristan. For me, it has drawn me closer to the Lord. I was saved at the age of 9, been to church 3'xs a week since then, very involved in church activities but this has caused me to be more than just a "normal church goer". I now have a deeper and more intimate relationship with the Lord, I have the desire to daily search the scriptures learning more about the Christian walk, I have a huge desire to learn more about Heaven and a passion to help encourage other moms on this T-18 road. As I look back on 2007, I so clearly see how the Lord carried us every step of the way and know without a doubt, no matter how difficult this year may be, He will continue to carry us. This is how I ended my thoughts about the upcoming year: I am so thankful the Lord has allowed us to be Tristan's parents and very grateful for each day we have been given, we will continue to live in the moment and live only for today and although I do not know what this year holds for us, I do know this - this is our story, Tristan's story, this is the plan the Lord has for our family and we are to use this story to honor and glory the Lord for the rest of our lives and we are to ultimately point others to Jesus through Tristan's story.

The excitement for today? First, we are on DAY 30!!!!! Oh how the Lord is blessing us with so much more time than we ever imagined possible and second, tonight we bathed Tristan, it was definitely a family event as Tanner and Tayden helped and then we dressed all 3 boys in their matching "doggie" PJ's (Tanner bought them for Tristan yesterday - we couldn't believe they had them in his size) and took lots of pictures. Please pray for Tristan's continued strength and please pray for our family as we begin this new year, as we realize this might be the hardest year we've faced yet.

Happy New Year from our family to yours.....
Trayc, Yvette, Tanner, Tayden and Tristan Hostetter