Wednesday, September 3, 2008

9 months ago.....

9 months ago today my sweet little boy was born. Knowing all of the "statistics" for Trisomy 18 babies, we assumed we would only have a few minutes or a few hours. We had already begged the doctors to get me from the operating room to my regular room as quick as possible. When we entered the room it was filled with 25 family members, photographer and her assistant from the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep organization, ready to take pictures, and one of our pastors was there ready to perform the baby dedication service. This service was very important to us because we had dedicated Tanner and Tayden at birth AND because Tristan truly was our miracle gift from the Lord, we felt it appropriate that we dedicate his life to the One who created him.

I have been so blessed to have such a sweet and very thoughtful step-mom, she thinks of those little things that mean so much. She surprised us with buying Tristan a beautiful, hand sewn, dedication outfit from a little quaint baby store in Nashville, TN. It was absolutely beautiful! We were going to dress Tristan in it, however because he had to be resuscitated 4 times in the delivery room we thought it would be best to let him save his energy and rest so we laid the outfit over him. Doesn't my little boy look precious here?

This picture has become very special to me because every morning when I turn on the computer Tayden climbs up in the chair, leans over the desktop, points to THIS picture (which is part of a collage of Tristan's pictures on our screen saver) and says "Baby" and "Baby hat". He smiles, laughs, climbs down and runs down the stairs to go eat breakfast.

It is so sweet to watch him do this and yet it brings bittersweet tears EVERY morning. I have seen Tayden grow up so much in the last 9 months. He is communicating and talking more and seems to be identifying with who Tristan is, alot more than when he was here in December and January. Oh how I wish Tayden was able to have his little brother here to love him, kiss him, talk to him and eventually play. Whenever I look in Tayden's room and see him sitting in the floor playing with Tanner, my mind envisions what it would have been like having all 3 of them playing. Although I will forever miss having my 3 boys grow-up together, I did have 56 DAYS with all 3 of my boys together. We were able to make so many memories during that time. One of my favorite pictures of my 3 boys together is this one from Christmas morning, our 1st Christmas with Tristan.

Days like today are hard. I have come to realize that there will always be days like the 3rd (the day he was born) and the 27th (the day that he passed away) that will forever be etched in my mind. I'm really missing my little boy today!!!!


Kim ( said...

Dear Sweet Yvette,
I am sorry the 3rd got by me. Being a stay at home Mom I hardly know the day, date or time anymore.
I want you to remember how thankful I am for Tristan and the hope that he brings to t-18. I am thankful for his life, his birthday and especially his sweet Mommy. You are a precious blessing that I will always be grateful that I have in my life, even if it's hard to keep in touch I know you are there!
I am continuing to pray for your sweet heart and for all your desires for your family to be fulfilled.
Happy 9 month birthday sweet Tristan, I am so proud you are with my girl!
Love you Yvette!

mrsrubly said...

happy 9 months Tristan. you have changed the lives of so many sweetie. yvette, your boys are truely handsome. that's so sweet of Tayden to atleast acknowledge Tristan. i am still praying for you my friend.

Laurie said...

Hi Yvette,

I can only imagine how hard the days like today are for you. I think of you often and check in daily to see how you are doing. I always think of Tristan on the 3rd of the month as he shares the same birthdate as my granddaughter Hannah. He touched my life so much and the 56 beautiful days he was here touched my soul so much. I love how he blessed your life and I am sad for how very much you will always miss this little sweetheart. Tayden sure has been growing up so much in the past 9 months and so has Tanner. Your boys are wonderful Yvette, all 3 of them. I am praying you through and think of you often. Have a blessed weekend.

Love and Many Hugs, Laurie in Ca.

Christena said...

Dear Yvette,

Even though I haven't written in a long time, I do continue to follow your blog as well as all those of your brown shirt prayer warriors, and I keep you all in my heart and prayers.

I don't know if any of you have heard from yet another Christian mom who has recently embarked on this life changing t18 road. I thought I would simply post her blog for you and your prayer warriors to include in your prayers.


Allyson said...

Hi Yvette - I'm doubling Christena's first paragraph comment. Even though it's been a long time since I e-mailed you, I still think about your family often and as well as the brown shirt prayer warriors.

I just had to e-mail and tell you the photo of Tristan after birth with the little outfit laid over him is absolutely breathtaking! I love it. Thanks for sharing and I will continue to pray for you all!

We recently found out a friend might be walking the T-18 journey too. They are still waiting on some additional test and we're praying for a miracle. I'm getting a list of blogs together for her now and I hope you don't mind me including yours.

Allyson Stephens

P.S. Thanks for the updates about the Stanfield's. I hate that someone hacked into their blog. How horrible! Praying all those precious journal pages and comments will be restored.

Rachel said...

What wonderful pictures and hope for other's with Trisomy 18.

My sister's little Baby Gracie lived all of 25 hours. They were a gift from God and she was every bit a miracle.

Bless you. said...

Hello Yvette,
I just wanted to thank you for your kind words. I will probably in the near future be emailing you...we have some tuff decisions to make and I really want to be educated in our choices. I want to give Max the best shot at life but I also want to make sure he has a very comfortable life as free from pain as possible.

Anyhow, the pictures of your little boy are just beautiful. He has so much wisdom in his eyes for being a baby.

Again thanks for reaching out,

Laurie said...

I love you Yvette and hope your weekend is a wonderful one with many treasures of joy and love. Still praying you through.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

LucieP said...

thinking about ya'll today