Our great escape

When we found out about Tristan on August 15th we were so devastated those first 2 weeks and unfortunately due to the circumstances our focus from August to December 3rd shifted from Tanner and Tayden to Tristan. Knowing this was going to happen we promised Tanner, back in August, that when Jesus took Tristan to heaven we would go to Disney World. We always reminded him of the trip until Tristan was born and then we stopped because the excitement now needed to be that Tristan was alive, at home with us and we needed to "live in the moment". Two days before Tristan passed away Tanner came in my room and said, "Mommy, I don't want to go to Disney World now" I said, "Why Tanner?" He said, "Because when we go that means Tristan will have passed away!" I simply said, "It's okay honey, we don't have to go if you don't want to, but let's not worry about that right now, Tristan is alive and he's with us". On the inside though, my heart sank, he was right! Well, obviously we did not know two days later, on January 27th, that Tristan would pass away as he was doing so good and seemed to be progressing. As we were making plans for Tristan's Celebration of Life service we were also trying to make plans to go to Disney World, after all we've promised Tanner since August and we did not want to go back on our word. Although we knew this was NOT the right timing financially because of all the funeral expenses and the fact that Trayc had been off work for 1 1/2 months, we had to go, we had to do what we had promised Tanner, he and Tayden deserved our undivided attention. We started praying that the Lord would provide the funds for us to go because we did not have any extra money. I admit, I was scared first because we only had days to get the money and because I just didn't see how anyone would give us money for what they might consider a vacation instead of a "healing getaway". Well, without mentioning it to anyone, only praying, the money came - we were blessed by several family members and several friends that generously contributed to our trip. And then, the biggest blessing of all, we were given (through a friends' friend) a FREE, 5 day/4 night stay in an absolutely beautiful, brand new condo on New Symrna Beach. Our entire trip was paid for and we were so blessed! Thank you to everyone who gave money for our trip that allowed our family time to be alone, away from our own surroundings and to begin the healing process.

We left on Wednesday morning and spent part of the day on the beach walking and picking up shells and letting the kids get their feet wet, on Thursday we spend the entire day at Downtown Disney, on Friday we went to Disney World from 10:00 am-11:00 pm, on Saturday we spent 5 hours at the Daytona Speedway (it was set up for the races which begin this week) so we enjoying all the activities and walked around looking at all of the drivers merchandise trucks. We left this morning and went straight to my mom's house to celebrate my grandmother's 83rd birthday and got home at 4:00 pm this afternoon. We have had a very, very special week! It was so much fun being together, laughing and making lots of new memories. As you know, I've really struggled with the night time hours because that's when I'm so sad about Tristan and lay awake crying until I finally cry myself to sleep. I guess the change of scenery was exactly what I needed. As soon as I got in bed, every night, I fell asleep immediately. I took a picture of Tristan with us so I could look at it every day, it never made me sad to look at, they were all sweet and happy thoughts, I feel like for me that's a big step as I've really struggled looking at Tristan's stuff since he passed away. These are several pictures of our trip. Picture #5 is Tanner and I standing on Main Street holding a Mickey Mouse hat that we bought and had Tristan's name put on it, this was Tanner's idea since we celebrated "Disney at our house" with Tristan on Day 17.

Please continue praying for our family as we heal, please continue to pray for me as I try to work through hard, night hours and as our family is beginning this new journey.